Proof that Neil Gaiman is a Vampire

By Wednesday, October 24, 2018 0 Permalink

Neil Gaiman is many things; an award-winning author, generous humanitarian…and a creature of the night? This may sound crazy, but we have undeniable proof that Neil Gaiman is in fact a vampire.


Exhibit A: He’s ageless

The man is seemingly ageless! Either it’s his magical hair that makes him look eternally young, OR he’s feeding on the blood of others. If he’s not a nosferatu, then we definitely need to know his beauty regiment.


Exhibit B: Gothic Attire

Going by Gaiman’s wardrobe, his favorite color is black…like the color of his undead soul! Vampires are known for their impeccable style, which Gaiman has in spades. True, he could just be a snappy dresser. But has anyone seen his reflection?



Exhibit C: His love for Marmite

The man loves Marmite for goodness sakes! If that’s not unnatural, then we don’t know what is. His wife, Amanda Palmer even famously wrote a song about his evil taste for it and its cousin Vegemite. You know what Marmite doesn’t contain? Garlic! Coincidence, we think not.


Exhibit D: His legion of undead fans

Ever vampire has his hordes of minions. And in Gaiman’s case they are a ravenous, bloodthirsty lot who crave literature! Oh, the horror! These loyal followers love their Dark Lord and his hypnotic writings.


Exhibit E: We have to invite him into our homes

Last, but not least is the almost unnatural compulsion to invite him into our homes. Well, his books in any case. While the verdict is still out on whether Gaiman is truly a child of the night. We do know that he will forever be immortalized by his writing.


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